Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Break Up AGAIN

I have never understood the appeal of Sparklebeast and Lipbiter. I realize those sound like the names of two characters from ‘The Never Ending Story,’ but I would venture to guess I wouldn’t have to elaborate on the fact I am referring to Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

Robert Pattinson Goes Bar Hopping

I digress, Twihards who refuse to stop shipping that mess are weeping into their Twilight pillowcases they bought at Hot Topic. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have broken up again! A source told People that they are taking a break, but will soon look into each other’s eyes and yell, “I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU!”

As rumors of relationship trouble continue to swirl, a source tells PEOPLE that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have called it quits after more than three years of dating. Reps for the two could not be reached. But the source says it would not be surprising if the on-and-off-again pair got back together again.

The magazine points out that everything seemed fine in hipster paradise at the Met Gala, but Rob had ditched his own birthday party KStew had arranged a few days later.

I bet that bitch asked him to dress up as Ken.

Until then, someone check on Nutty Madam. Give her some cookies. That’s what I seek solace in when I have a case of the sads. (And by “cookies” I mean copious amounts of booze.)

Are you following Allie on Twitter yet?


  • http://Website Jen

    And they’ll be back together in 4….3…2…1…..

  • http://www.ICYDK.com Jocelyn

    I still feel like I can’t believe they won’t end up again together someday!

  • http://haveuheard.net shari

    the publicity stunt is over. woo hoo.