Chris Brown Totals Douchemobile, Blames Paparazzi

I could insert a derogatory comment about Chris Brown’s fondness for hitting things like some sort of kindergartener with a case of HULK MAD! Instead, I will let the dumbassery speak for itself…

Chris Brown hit a wall yesterday while out driving his Porsche down an alley near the 600 block of Bedford Drive. He claims that two paparazzi were chasing him down and caused the accident. You know, because the world needs more photos depicting how awesome Chris Brown thinks he is.

The paps claim that they weren’t there until after the wall assault. The head of INF, Chris Doherty, stated adamantly that Brown was cruising solo.

“No photographers were following him at the time he crashed … He crashed his car and it’s convenient for him to blame us. He needs to be careful with his defamatory statements.”

If the paparazzi didn’t do it and Chris Brown let Jesus take the wheel…then who is to blame? Maybe the car was looking at his sexts to another Porsche so he taught it a lesson for being a sneaky bitch.

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