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‘Top Chef’ Seattle Recap – Episode 9 #topchef

Last week on ‘Top Chef’ Seattle, Josie started bringing crazy back and called Micah a closeted homosexual. Bart was sent packing after he under-seasoned his roller derby dish. Click HERE for the full recap of episode 8.

We are treated to the chefs waking up and preparing for the day. Stefan is slathering on some wrinkle repellent as Sheldon sharpens his knives and talks about the remaining chefs. We also get a brief history lesson on mini people who bring him good luck.

Bob Kramer joins the chefs in the Top Chef kitchen the quickfire. Bob makes fancy ass knives that can cut through a shoe and probably a bowling ball all for $4000 a piece. The chefs are separated into “teams” and are tested on their knife skills. The start with sharpening dull knives into razors able to cut paper with ease. Stefan/Brooke/Lizzie are eliminated first.

Josie cuts herself while doing the potato whittling and slows down John (who worked at a French joint and is a pro at this too). Unfortunately for John, the loss of Josie slows them too much and the blue team takes over. Micah breaks down his rabbit in the final leg of the challenge first and wins.

Padma busts out memorable moment from past seasons. They must revamp a dish from the moment they are assigned. It will be turned into a Healthy Choice meal and must be a figure friendly version. The prize…$15,000.

Lizzie gets Jamie’s Top Scallop moment which brings back fond memories of Fabio. Kristen’s nabs Carla’s pot pie and Sheldon gets a Carpaccio moment that erupted into a massive fight between Antonia, Dale and Spike in the Chicago based season. Josie gets that ol’ “I’m not your bitch, bitch” brawl from season 1 and couldn’t be happier about it.Brooke is assigned the pea puree that Ed made and was subsequently snatched.

In the kitchen, John starts talking about his dish. He gets a season 3 tender moment between a contestant and Anthony Bourdain. He basically claims responsibility for the guy’s chef/foodie career. John states he hired Bourdain, became his drinking buddy and Anthony created a character in his book, ‘Kitchen Confidential, named Jimmy Sears that is actually him. He finds it odd that he is a contestant and his former protege is the judge.

Josh recalls Michael Voltaggio. While I pause it for a tender memory with my favorite Top Chef, he drones on about re-making his braised bacon. Pork has been his enemy and he is nervous.

Micah gets to revamp the dish that Beverly and that uber-bitch Heather went down for last season. He is trying to make it sing while Lizzie frets over possibly spoiled scallops.

Wolfgang returns with several Top Chefs masters, Tom and Padma. John is dripping sweat into his risotto as Stefan tries to “sneak” olive oil and butter into his roasted red pepper soup flanked by a grilled cheese sandwich. Josie presents her chicken which gets mediocre reviews and is pretty much dubbed your average Applebees offering. Stefan didn’t succeed in hiding the fat. The pick over his soup and sandwich while slapping a “greasy” label on it. John’s risotto fails as Wolfgang notices some of the rice is overcooked and the rest of it is somehow undercooked.

Back in the kitchen, Josh is yelling as Lizzie is having trouble searing her scallops without being able to use butter. At the judges table, Josh finally gets a win with his pork. Sheldon’s beef gets mixed reviews while Lizzie’s scallop gets bent over…not in a good way.

Micah, Brooke and Kristen arrive with their dish. They collectively love Kristen’s rebooted chicken pot pie, but one judge is missing the sauce component. Micah isn’t so lucky as his dish is picked at and gets a round of yawns. Brooke fairs better as they Top Chef fans go crazy for her pea puree.

bravo, top chef

Josh, John, Kristen, Lizzie and Brooke are called to out all together. This move makes the contestants scratch their heads. Josh, Brooke and Kristen are safe while John and Lizzie are up for elimination. Kristen’s pot pie wins the cash and will be featured in Healthy Choice Steamers.

John blames his pots being not up to par. Wolfgang rains down some cold hard truth on John and basically schools him with his degree in BS Detection. Josh jumps in, unasked, with his declaration that he had no trouble with the pots available in the kitchen. Lizzie is about ready to cry as she knows and admits that she made a mistake.

Padma busts out a Kindle and offers Lizzie and John a chance to redeem themselves. The Kindle contains a memorable moment from their current season. They must makeover CJ’s Fail Burger. Whoever does the best reboot will be saved.

The rest of the chefs are relieved to hear they are safe. They also get the details on John’s 99 problems/excuses. He stands by the pots being to blame for his awful risotto and exclaims: “I’m pissed! I shouldn’t have to cook again. It was the pots!” I guess they really want to make sure we find him completely repulsive…John then grabs all of Lizzie’s dill that she agreed to share and then repeatedly leaves the oven cooking her meat open as he complains about her “pushing him around” and constantly “bitching” about his lack of common courtesy in the kitchen. He then goes on to say she should be thanking him for sharing the pickles. This guy is an incredibly sad human being.

Each chef votes in front of the chefs. Lizzie kicks his ass! It is a unanimous decision to keep Lizzie. Thank the Top Chef gods. As he exits, he makes weird remarks about cooking a plain burger while holding a jar of pickles and it would have been better than what Lizzie made. This is in the same breath he calls everyone else a child and claims he wasn’t an ass the entire time.

What?

Don’t forget to check out Last Chance Kitchen to see who is fighting their way back to the show!


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