Lindsay Lohan Too Sick for Court, Goes Shopping Instead

Lindsay Lohan is proving how awesome our justice system is by skipping out on court because she has a case of we normal folk call sobriety and she calls “sick.”

Lindsay’s new attorney, Mark Heller, submitted a doctor’s note (circa elementary school get outta gym note) to the court stating that she is too ill to fly and would endanger herself and passengers on the flight. Now, this isn’t just any doctor…it’s a Park Avenue doctor. When some doctor who wipes with $100 bills, eats gold, visits his pony (Buttercup) at his private stable before he stops by Bergdorf Goodman to pick up a fresh handkerchief (or whatever the devil rich people buy) says Lindsay is too sick…bitch gets a free pass.

That is until bitch proves just how dumb she is by going on a shopping spree looming paps documented with a plethora of photos. Lohan supposedly went to the doctor on Saturday and was labeled too sick to be around fellow human beings. This is the only part of the story I believe. I am surprised the government hasn’t sent someone in a HazMat suit to quarantine her soup of diseases that keeps Free Clinics running. She then spent the rest of day being followed by paparazzi who took pics of her shopping and having a few cigarettes to appease the demands of her alleged upper respiratory infection.

If this is brought to light, the judge could spank her with some time in jail. Fun Fact: Heller hasn’t even been approved by the court to represent Lindsay.

I look forward to the follow up post I will be writing tomorrow about her evil twin trying to get her into trouble because she is such “homebody” now.

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