I’m back with your ‘Blogging Dead’ recap!
When we last left the group…
*Lori had given birth, became a zombie buffet and Rick lost his shiz and went on a walker slaughter bender. He discovered the room Lori gave birth and died in. Her body is missing, but a trail of blood leads to a walker with swollen belly and her hair in his teeth.
*The Governor is starting show just how creepy he is. His “biter” daughter protests to getting her hair brushed as the skin peels off her skull. He wrangles her by putting a bag over her head and gives Michonne the evil eye as she throws shade at his residence from outside.
*Maggie and Daryl make a formula run for the baby the Dixon brother has named “Little Ass Kicker.” As he holds the tot and feeds her a bottle my ovaries quiver.
*Michonne and Andrea continue to fight over whether Woodbury is a paradise or a Venus Flytrap. Michonne leaves on her own and Andrea is treated to a Walker/Gladiator fight in the Governor’s company.
*Carol is still missing and presumed dead. Daryl leaves a Cherokee Rose on the grave Glen and the 2 prisoners dug.
*Rick is sitting in the room where Lori met her end. As he tries to wrap his head around the loss, a phone starts ringing. He answers with a generic, “Hello?”
Merle is out hunting Michonne with some minions. The men stumble upon a walker carcass that has been placed to spell out GO BACK. The elder Dixon lovingly calls it a “biter-gram” His back up is scared shiz-less and want to return to the safety of Woodbury, but Merle isn’t exactly an accommodating henchman. After a brief speech about finding their testicular fortitude, Michonne appears and kills everyone in the hunting party sans Merle and one minion.
The phone call. For an entire week we have been theorizing who is calling the prison. A woman’s voice exclaims her appreciation that someone answered as they have been calling “since it all started.” She refuses to give details about her group other than the fact that they are somewhere safe and “away” from Rick’s group. Rick begins to beg for sanctuary. He acknowledges the baby and cries that his group is “dying” and needs help. She promises to call back in two hours so she can discuss letting them into their safe haven with her fellow members.
After the commercial break, Rick has showered and dipped himself into some Purell. He return to the group as they have some sort of meal in an uncomfortable silence. Rick doesn’t mention the phone call, but re-groups with Daryl and the others. They make a plan to sweep more of the prison and do a clean up.
Back in the woods, Merle is rallying the surviving minion while Andrea moseys around Woodbury. She and the Governor are flirting in a weird way as she scolds him for the gladiator/walker fight done for the town’s amusement. Andrea reaffirms that she wants to stay in Woodbury and asks to be on “wall” duty.
Back in the prison, the phone rings again and Rick quickly answers. This time a man begins to question the cracked leader about the people he has killed. With little hesitation, Rick lists his body count with honesty: Tomas, Shane and the two men in the bar he plucked Hershel out of. The man then asks about Lori, Rick freaks as he wants to know how he knows about his wife. The man on the phone weakly explains that Rick mentioned a new baby and son. Rick simply states he isn’t ready to talk about Lori and the man hangs up. This doesn’t sit well with Rick and he gets pissed.
A young woman preps Andrea to learn how to shoot a bow and is trying to be some sort of Katniss, but fails to take down a walker after attempting two shots. Andrea leaps over the wall and stabs the walker. The Katniss wannabe is pissed and asserts that there is a rule about going over the wall and practically stomps her foot while asserting she could have taken the walker out.
Hershel must have drawn the short straw and wobbles into try and talk Rick out of the 6 different kinds of crazy he has fallen into. He talks about his leg as a precursor to the subject of Lori. He is doing amazing considering he lost a leg via hatchet and survived thanks to a tourniquet made of prison sheets and prayer. Maybe he borrowed Lieutenant Dan’s “magic legs.” (I really should have went from watching ‘Forest Gump’ to ‘Walking Dead.)
Rick pretty much shuts Hershel down and confides in him that he got a phone call. Hershel picks up the phone and gets no dial tone. He doesn’t say it out loud, but he is thinking BITCH BE CRAZY! He offers to sit with Rick and wait for another call. Rick shoos him away.
Michonne and Merle are still going blade to blade in the woods. As they continue their onslaught, walkers stumble into their path. Michonne spills zombie guts all over herself as she slays a walker. Merle is saved by his minion who managed to find his balls. Our sword wielding badass manages to escape again.
Daryl, Carl and the newly adopted prisoner, Oscar, start to sweep more of the jail. Axel is noticeably absent the entire show. Maybe he ran off to join Will Wheaton’s zombie apocalyptic gamer paradise? After Daryl tells the story of his mother’s loss (death by Virginia Slims in bed), Oscar finds himself some slippers and he is tickled pink with the find. “You know, for the end of the day!” A walker hobbles into their path and gets an arrow and several gunshots to the head. Daryl pulls a knife from his neck and pronounces it Carol’s weapon.
Merle, on the other hand, is ready to give up on the chase for Michonne. He instructs his minion to let to the Governor and feels Michonne will be dead by morning anyway as she is wounded and headed toward the “red zone.” Minion Niel refuses to lie and Merle shoots him in the head for his objection. Michonne won’t be flushed so easily. She discovers the walker innards that were split on her during the fight are the best defense as a small herd of walkers pass her by. She then manages to stumble into the path of Maggie and Glen who are on a baby formula and ammo run. Michonne….everyday she’s stumblin’. (It’s late and that is my only excuse for the terrible pun, but it stays.) She listens to them talk about the baby growing up in a prison and playful banter about a toy duck for the tot.
Merle also manages to stumble upon Maggie and Glen. He claims he just wants to know if Daryl is alive, but we all know that he won’t be happy until he has his little brother back in line. Glen refuses to give their location and promises to send Daryl back for him. We all know this isn’t going to please the Lord of the Gimps. He takes Maggie hostage and tells them they are going on a little ride.
Another woman calls Rick who is practically petting the phone like Gollum. “My precious!” She hangs up after slipping and calling him by name and causes Rick to throw shade and questions.
Andrea and the Governor sip whiskey in his garden and talk about getting their jollies by killing walkers. He explains that it is ok that she liked the barbaric walker fight and the begin the preemptive humping with a makeout session. Later, Merle interrupts their PG13 sex with the “news” that Michonne is dead, his fellow henchmen are dead and he has proof his brother is still alive. Maggie and Glen will be the gate to Rick and the rest of the group.
As the episode comes to a close, it delivers its usual punch. Rick answers the phone again and it is Lori! For all of those who guessed the calls were in his head…you get a cookie. For all those didn’t guess that…try harder. Lori’s voice explains that all the people that called were those who died while he was running the show. Rick breaks down and cries about how he loved her and just couldn’t “put it back together.” Ghost Lori tells him to take care of Carl and the baby before the connection crackles and Rick eventually hangs up.
Daryl sits in the hallway all verklempt after finding Carol’s knife. A faint knocking sound can be heard as he vents by stabbing the ground with her knife, kicking the walls and grunting in anger. He pulls a walker blocking the door housing the faint knocking sound aside and is ready to kill the annoying zombie interrupting his grief. Carol is bloody and weak, but alive. Daryl pokes her and she barely comes to. He then carries her out circa Richard Gere and Debra Winger at the end of “An Officer and a Gentleman.”
Rick has managed to escape the crazy and finally holds Little Ass Kicker after he joins the group in the prison yard. And what else do we see? Michonne carrying the basket of formula Glen and Maggie were forced to leave behind. She is standing amongst walkers clawing at the fences with a look of determination on her face.
Preview next week: