Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

And it is as terrifying as it sounds. If you want something that will make you entertain the idea of scrubbing your eyeballs with Tilex, Hulk Hogan has come to your aid.

Your dreams will be haunted by canopy beds and Brooke Hogan’s failed attempt at a musical career. Gawker has a rundown of the events which are equally disturbing as actually watching the footage. According to the site, who was given the tape free of charge, because we should all be paid for having submitted ourselves to such visual torture.

The lady with a fetish for an enigma of baldness and bleached blonde locks, fanny packs and tan lines lays naked on the bed waiting for Hogan to finish licking her cupcake. She returns the favor and Hulk is about to get down to business when his cell phone rings…it’s his daughter’s song “About Us.” Top notch dad. He tells the woman to wait while he checks to see if it his son, Nick. It’s not and they return to pre-game antics. After examining the curtains, locating a condom and engaging in lady-on-topsies humping, she dismounts carries off the used rubber.

The theory is that this was taped without Hulk’s knowledge. Gawker explains that woman in the video is the ex-wife of his best friend, a DJ named Bubba the Love Sponge.

It’s all very odd beyond the fact that it’s Hulk Hogan humping on tape. It reads like some sort of transaction. At least he had the decency to thank her and tell her she is awesome. All it needs is a high five before he promises to call her.

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