Hello, my name is Renna, and I LOVE Dark Shadows. It’s a problem I’ve been struggling with for two decades, and one I believe that I have finally cured myself of…

In other words, the offering from Tim Burton and Johnny Depp is pitiful.

I can’t say I’m totally surprised that it looks ridiculous, however, I didn’t think that the filmmakers would take the cheap slap-stick comedy route with this subject matter.

A total cop out. Check out the trifle of a trailer below.

The film stars most of the usual suspects in the Burton-verse including Helena Bonham-Carter, with a few fresher faces in the form of Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Chloe Grace Moretz and Jonny Lee Miller.

None of which seem to be enough to save this film, in fact I don’t even see a point in attempting to watch this garbage. BUT if you are so inclined, the film hits theaters in wide release on May 11th.

Yup… totally cured.