Former Van Halen front-man Sammy Hagar claims that he was abducted by aliens. Wow, that certainly explains a LOT.

The aged rocker has always appeared to be a little bit off kilter. And it’s no wonder, since his brain was experimented on by little green men from another world.

Hagar claims; “It was real. They were plugged into me. It was a download situation … or, they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment … They were tapped into my brain and the knowledge was transferred back and forth.”

So basically, the aliens now know all of humanities secrets. All the top-secret government tactical information has been infiltrated. Humans beware.

(Please note the sarcasm…)

The perfectly sane Hagar claims that this kidnapping and brain sucking took place in Fontana California, near a nascar track… are we sure HE was the intended victim here? I mean, really they could have been searching for a car.. Maybe K.I.T.T.?

Anyways, this certainly wasn’t the first time that the singer had a close encounter… his first experience with the space travelers happened when he was a mere 4 years old. How terrifying.

(End sarcasm, begin criticism.)

WTF is this guy smoking? Is this the real reason that Van Halen fired his arse? I mean really, if I were the Van Halen boys I would have sent him in for a 5150…

Hey, do you think he has one of those tin-foil hats that ‘believers’ wear? Heck, maybe he’ll be joining Charlie Sheen on his tour as a ‘special guest’?

source