This is the funniest story ever to happen to a celebrity. Los Angeles musician Paz got into Paris Hilton’s 30th birthday party and made off with her giant, red “Paris” birthday cake!

I’m still dyin’!

With the help of a friend, Paz walked into the party like he owned the place. He got drunk, witnessed some strange events and blended in with the crowd. He saw the $2,000 cake, and when he found out that they were planning on throwing it out, he had to do the right thing.

Paz took to his Facebook page to post the evidence from his birthday party crashing — and I just have to say that this guy is my new hero. Seriously.

He writes, “Even in my sub-functional state, I realize this is going to be a delicate mission. There are still at least 100 people in the building, 20% of whom are employed to be looking for idiots like me.”

To prove his story, he even posted this photo of the birthday girl:

So, he gave a nod to security, asked for verification of the cake’s location and made his way to it like he was meant to. With another nod to security on the way out, he’s made it out of the party with the cake.

He said, “40 seconds later I’m in the front seat of a Nissan Maxima with 70 lbs. of awesome in my lap. Success. As the sun rises, I crash hard. In the morning, I’ll awake to an interesting surprise in the den. It’s red. It’s delicious. And I don’t know WTF I’m going to do with it.”

Paris got crashed on her birthday, what better way to start the day than that?!??