Snooki never will be the bastion of common sense, intelligence or anything that doesn’t have something to do with the word “guido”. And her new book, “A Shore Thing” — proves just that.

It just goes to show you that anyone can get published, so writers — if you’re out there — IT CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU. If Snooki can get published, you can, too. This has been a non-paid Public Service Announcement from Allieiswired.com…You may now resume your lives.

What I can tell you, with one hundred percent complete honesty, is that I feel dumber after having read this steaming pile of horse crap. Seriously — it’s so bad that horse crap should be offended by the comparison.

Case in point:

“Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla. Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”

If that wasn’t enough to convince you that Snooki will never win a prize for being a best selling author, there’s always this: “He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”

She went on to say, “I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.”

So this is supposed to be fiction, eh? Will you read this literary item [For lack of a better term]?

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