It’s stories like this one that really makes me weep for the future of the human race. It really makes me wish that there will be a Terminator from the future that comes back from the year 2500 where crap like this is normal and decides to wipe out the cause — SNOOKI.

And this mental midget wrote a book?!?? It flabbergasts me at times what we refer to as entertainment in this country. But, I digress.

Snooki went on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” and talked about how much she likes to get wasted drunk and wake up in a garbage can. Yes, that really happened. It’s so dumb that nobody could make this crap up.

Of her drunken shenanigans, she said, “I want to remember my night and sometimes I just don’t. It sucks. So you’re like, ‘What did I do? Why did I wake up in a garbage can.’” Wow, I can’t count how many times I’ve asked myself that.

Self: Why, Roberta, WHY?!? Why did I wake up in a garbage can?
Self: Because you thought Snooki was a role model.
Self: Oh, wait.

Note to self: Don’t talk to yourself AND answer, you might be crazy, right? Right! Still, don’t count on Snooki to guide your children into being proper guidos. She doesn’t consider herself a role model and neither should you. She added the obvious, “I don’t want to be a role model.”

Thank Heavens! Now please go and be responsible adults and smack the bejesus out of your girls if they emerge with a Snooki poof and can tell you what GTL means.

[Note: Allieiswired.com does not condone violence and the above is intended for humorous purposes only...unless you film it.]

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