Michael Lohan Warns Billy Ray Cyrus About Divorce

Because Michael Lohan feels that he is the bastion of advice-giving, he is telling Billy Ray Cyrus the obvious truth — divorce messes up kids! Alert the press. Oh wait, haven’t psychiatrists said that for years?

A recent video of Miley Cyrus surfaced, showing the teen getting as high as a kite on the drug Salvia. She hallucinated, giggled and was just acting out. Of course, she is going through a lot. On a side note, I’m kicking myself for defending this little brat. How do I sleep at night???

Billy Ray voiced his concern about the Salvia incident on Twitter, tweeting, “I had no idea. Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I’m so sad. There is much beyond my control right now.”

Michael is reaching out to the Mullet, telling him that his divorce is tearing things up in their family and they should try to keep things civil. Duh. Captain Obvious rears his ugly head!

Michael said, “Divorce does mess up kids. But divorce can work if both parents try to get along and don’t use their children as pawns. Ask any professional about that, especially Dina! She knows all about using kids as pawns and dragging them into her dirt.”

Wow. This famewhoring thing really runs deep in the Lohan blood, doesn’t it? It’s like it’s ingrained in their DNA.

In dispensing advice about divorces, Mike goes against his own words, by not keeping it civil. He said, “I promised Lindsay that I wouldn’t talk about our personal life or Dina, so I won’t. But what I will do, is set the record straight on her claims.” (Dina recently claimed that Mike should be kicking some dough her way instead of shelling out cash for Botox for he and his girlfriend, Kate Major.)

He added, “For any parent to lie to the press about things like this only shows how bitter and self-absorbed that person really is! This is not about lies, money or jealousy. It’s about our children. I feel sorry for Dina. I really want to get along. I only pray that after all Lindsay’s hard work, this nonsense will stop so that she has a real chance! And while I am very proud and hopeful of Lindsay, quite honestly, I worry for her, if this behavior doesn’t stop. Good brings good and bad brings bad!”

So he won’t talk about Dina, but he does? And he won’t talk about Lindsay, but he does? And he says to be civil, but he’s not. I get it, it’s Opposite Day!

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