Yes, kittens. I still care. The brouhaha surrounding Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon is getting more and more detailed. (Yes, brouhaha is a legit word and in my opinion isn’t used enough.)

Jake and Reese’s reps are all: “No, you horny bitch. They haven’t broken up and no I will not get you a pair of autographed boxers. So please stop calling because Jake is afraid you are going to turn him into a lampshade in your apartment.” However, tabloids are insistent that Gyllenhaal and Witherspoon are breaking up/broken up/about to break up.

Star Magazine (via Celebitchy) says that Reese wants Jake to marry her and had a case of the sads when he failed to show up for Thanksgiving.

“Everyone was told not to mention his name,” a Thanksgiving guest tells Star. “She’s not ready to talk about it yet. We were all sad for Reese. Thanksgiving is such a family holiday, and we all known Reese just wants to be part of a close family unit again.”

Reese has been complaining that in recent weeks, Jake has “seemed distant.” Sources says Jake “isn’t ready to be tied down. He wants to get married one day, but he feels like Reese was pushing him into it. He got freaked out and said he wasn’t ready for such a commitment.”

After Thanksgiving, Jake told Reese he needed a break. Says the source, “They had a huge fight. Reese was crying and devastated, but Jake was insistent that they take time apart.” On Nov. 29, he sent his assistant to remove two suitcases of belongings from her home.

On the contrary report, In Touch and People are saying the exact opposite. Jake wants to get married but Reese isn’t interested in another marriage right now. Either way both media outlets are reporting that the “Brothers” star sent his assistant to Witherspoon’s home to collect two suitcases full of Gyllenhaal’s things.

I know, I know. Everyone gets the gay vibe from my favorite hairy beast. He and Anderson Cooper are on my Unicorn To-Do list. Just look at how funny and yummy he is on Jimmy Kimmel (videos above).

[MSNBC]