Lauren Conrad wrote “L.A. Candy”, which is her story about a girl catapulted to fame after joining a reality show (ahem, “The Hills”) and it’s being adapted for the big screen.

Not one to be shown up, Heidi Montag has decided to write her own book, “Compton Cookie”.

In one excerpt from the book, she talks about how she was forced to marry some douchebag for this reality show on TV, but decided to fake it for more money from the show’s producers.

She says, “I’m bleeding America dry by posing with my fake pouty kisses with this douche, and it’s all for the money. Suckers! Thanks for the pic money, idiots!”

In fell swoop, Heidi Montag has admitted to causing the recession.

We kid, we kid. (Or do we?)