MAURY! MAURY! Yes, don’t tell me you don’t want to jump out your seat and your hands in the air as Keanu does the I-Told-You-So dance Povich style.

Keanu Reeves has proven he is not the biological father of Karen Sala’s now adult children. She was seeking at least $150,000 per month to buy her children adult diapers and ponies. Sala claimed that they did the hump 4 times and wants compensation retroactive from June of 1998. Reeves handed over some of his DNA to prove that ho was crazy and had no legal right to $3 million a month in spousal/child/crazy support.

$3 million a month? She was aware this is Keanu Reeves and not Oprah right? Hell, that’s twice Gale’s allowance.

What Others Said:

Dlisted – “In other news, four Canadian adults just changed their last names from Sala to NotASala.”

Evil Beet Gossip – “Her twenty-something kid needs to go tell all his friends that, despite the story he’s been told his entire life, his father wasn’t on a speeding, out-of-control, bus.”

[Starpulse]