Amy Winehouse is supposedly coming out with a new fragrance. So if you want to have others bask in the aura of your cigarette smoking, coke bloating, crack pipe smelling self, then this is the product* for you. I know, I should’ve been in sales, right?

Her father Mitch has been pushing for her to get off her butt and sign a deal to license her own perfume, but she has already snubbed an offer for a half-million bucks. If I were her, I would take what I could get. It’s not like she looks like she smells all that nice.

An inside source said, “Mitch is keen to license Amy’s name to a perfume house. He has been in talks with manufacturers and contacted PR firms for advice. They want it to reflect her style with a classic smoky 1950s look and smell. Amy is keen to expand her brand and wants to latch on to the celeb perfumes bandwagon while she can. They know her fans love to copy her style, and her trademark fashion and beehive hair-do were last year’s must-have look.”

Amy wants the cash, but doesn’t really want the responsibility of marketing the stank. Another source said, “Amy is a big name but if she wants her own perfume she will have to put in the work to promote it. Frankly, she doesn’t look like she smells that nice, so doing some positive publicity to prove it doesn’t just smell of stale booze and fags would be vital.”

I’d be afraid to scratch and sniff any samples of that mess. Wouldn’t you?

*Smudgy mascara and skin disease extra. Some restrictions apply. See advertisement for more details. We are not liable for any cooties you catch from trying to smell like Amy or otherwise inhale any of her ‘fragrances’.