Everyone had Adam Lambert pegged to win the coveted American Idol title. It was a surprise that Kris Allen managed to dethrone Karaoke Gokey and take the throne from beloved man-queen, Adam. Regardless, Kris is the new Idol and I am interested to see if he does anything after this. He might be doomed to a Taylor Hicks future.

The show started with some cheese-tastic-ness. Randy was wearing a red velvet bowtie and was the highlight of the show sadly enough. The show squeezed in over 2 hours of crap that consisted of The Black Eyed Peas being molested by escapees from the movie “Labyrinth” and Kara DioGuardi showing her starved body in a bikini. The booted members of this year’s Idol resurfaced in a corny Idol Awards ceremony.

Cyndi Lauper joined Allison Iraheta in a tribute to Romy and Michelle and sang “Time After Time.” (I was at home doing the interpretive dance in my pj‘s.) Lionel Richie performed with Gokey and I took this as a potty break. Carlos Santana and the crew did “Black Magic Woman” which was followed by a Keith Urban and Allen duet.

Adam Lambert said screw that country noise and came out in his best ode to Project Runway garb and sang with KISS. Then, in what we assumed was a giant hint, Queen came out in a massive amount of fog and smoke machines gone crazy mess. Instead of Adam getting to rock “Killer Queen” they did “We are the Champions.” Blah. The odd moment of the night came when Steve Martin plucked a banjo while Megan Joy and Michael Sarver sang some bluegrass. Not making that up. In fact I thought I had somehow changed the channel to PBS.

2 hours later Ryan Seacrest finally revealed that Kris had out slutted Lambert for votes. That’s it for this year’s American Idol. I am sure we will have to find something else fill the void. I vote for Project Runway this summer! Can I get an AMEN!

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