I have no real desire to know about Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson’s sex life. I pretty sure it involves playing dress up and having tea with a slew of teddy bears.

Wentz was on Howard Stern’s show yesterday morning and blabbed about everything from Ashlee’s current bra size to Jessica Simpson’s lack of sex appeal. (She lacks testicles. I am sure that is his first problem.)

“We have an amazing sex life. We have such sexual chemistry,” he went on. “If we had been on this show last year, we’d probably be doing it in the green room right now.

If that didn’t make you gag on your Hot Pocket, he talked about his favorite moment.

“It was at the Soho Grand Hotel [in New York City], and I’m looking in the mirrors, [thinking], ‘Oh my God, you are [sleeping with] the girl of your dreams, and you can watch yourself!’” he said.

Wentz told Stern that Simpson also “loves giving me lap dances. She gives a mean lap dance.” She wears thongs and “sexy clothes,” he noted.”

He also revealed that Papa Joe keeps a tight watch on him.

“Once he and Ashlee got together, the first thing Joe said to him was, “Pete, we saw a little too much of you on the Internet last year.”

At least he kept his male sexual conquests out of the conversation. I am guessing that Crazy Pepaw Joe has sent out his legion of flying monkeys to castrate him upon the news of his interview debauchery.

[MTV]