Bwhahah! This just made my day. This morning I stubbed my toe, burnt breakfast and ran out of coffee. But this little diddy made it all better.

Jessica Simpson is already picking out her second wedding dress and ordering flowers. She is adamant that Tony Romo is going to propose after Christmas.

“[Jessica Simpson] is “convinced” that Tony [Romo] plans to propose over the holidays, says a close friend of Jess. He’s been dropping hints, like asking her about the diamond from her ex-husband, Nick Lachey.

“I told him it was once my dream to have a pear-shaped ring, but I’d never want that again,” she told the pal. Then, last week, she noticed that one of her favorite rings went missing for a few days. “And then it reappeared in my jewelry box.”

Relax. It he probably needed something to clean out the shower drain. After washing her blonde wookie weave, I am sure a her rock attached to a wire coat hanger does the trick.

Simpson is also rumored to be knocked up. This is rumor #287. Remember when she thought she was knocked up and told his parents only to find out that she is mentally challenged and was not pregnant. This time around I am sure she held the pregnancy test upside again. Combine that with living on ham Hot Pockets and eating out with her token gay sidekick, Ken Paves, bitch got chubby. The end.

[Star Magazine]