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Michael Bay’s Rejected Batman Script is Pretty Much a Porn

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Ok, so I don’t have much experience reading scripts and it shows. When I read Michael Bay’s rejected “Dark Knight” script my mind immediately envisioned a porn. Maybe it is just the way it reads but to me when I hear “pan to a beautiful woman: platinum blonde with a huge rack. She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world.” I hear Peter Griffin reading his robot porn plot on “Family Guy.”

It even gets better….

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“Rachel stretches against the open hood. The camera zooms in on her naked torso. It luxuriates on her toned stomah. Up it goes. Then down. Then up again. Slowly…slowly… Now counter-clockwise.”

Seriously…it sounds like a script from a one of those dirty phone call commercials on tv at 3 am. Moving on as Rachel Dawes, the heroine played by Maggie Gyllenhaal, apparently takes her top off to help Batman fix the Batmobile.

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“She leans inot the engine, exposing her breasts, covered in prespiration. The camera zooms in and out on them, emphatically, a number of times.”

The only thing missing from that is someone bursting in to fix the copier. I am prayig that this is a fake script thrown into the world of internet gossip in order to punk our blogging world. Otherwise…this is sad.

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[Spill]




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  • http://pavco.wordpress.com Charles

    Uh, Cara?

    I’m pretty sure it’s a joke.

  • Cara

    I know, but I found it hilarious. I just couldn’t help but make fun of it. =)

  • http://www.enterthejabberwock.com J Crowley

    But it makes fun of itself. Because that’s what the joke of it is — self-mocking ironic humor. Ironic parody doesn’t need further mocking — it just ends up ultimately detracting from the original joke. :P

  • http://whatwouldbatmando.today.com bill_finger

    Ha. I love it. Transformers meets Armageddon meets Meet the Parents.

    This is a joke, but it still reads a whole lot better than the proposed Batman vs. Superman movie.

  • http://Website jt

    i think it would be an awesome movie


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