His baby momma is ready to pop any day now and Matthew McConaughey’s carcass is out drinking to the point of sloppiness and feeling up random Nicaraguan ho-bags. Star Magazine of course heard about the entire ordeal.

“He was acting like an out-of-control 18-year-old,” claims an eyewitness who was at the bar. “He already seemed to be drunk when he arrived alone, and he only got worse from there on. He was putting the make on every woman in his path, throwing his arms around them and trying to kiss them, and trying to dirty-dance with a few out on the floor. But he was a mess, slurring his words and stumbling around.

“A few minutes after he finally left the bar, someone found him searching through a sewage ditch outside. When they asked him what he was doing, he mumbled, ‘I’ve lost my flip-flops!’”

The next night he reportedly went back to Iguana Bar to wreck more havoc. After returning to the states he admitted to being crazy hammered drunk and offered a reward for his lost flip flop. WTF?

“‘Drunk?’ he told us via e-mail. ‘Absolutely. Nicaragua is a beautiful place, epic waves, the best surfing I have ever been on. And yes, I’m STILL looking for my left flip-flop.

“So if anyone finds it floating around down there (it has 6:22 stitched into the side), please send it my way. There is a reward.’”

He is a bit of a turd, but as I too have lost my flip flops….and top….and underwear in drunken merry making, I can’t really be judgey-wudgey.

[Star Magazine]