Celebs have it so rough. John Mayer has a solid career, enough cash to have a money pit he can swim in like Scrooge McDuck and has bedded some of the hottest pieces of eye candy in Hollywood. Yet somehow he is stricken such anxiety he lives on Xanax. After telling “Best Life” magazine how hard it is to be a deep thinker he also spilled the details on his benders.

“In his early twenties, however, some­thing shifted inside that private little self-created world of his. He won’t say exactly what happened, only that on one specific day, he realized that ‘you can create dark neighborhoods in your mind as easily as you can create rural wonderlands. And the day I realized that was one of the worst days of my life. It sent me on quite a spin. I went on a bender. An anxiety bender.’ Which is why he keeps Xanax in his pocket even now: ‘Because there are these incidental kinds of loopholes in my brain, where the wires can cross for a second and the hard drive crashes.’”

As if he is anxiety over having a mind weren’t enough, he worries about finding a wife. Isn’t this guy a bit of cad? With past relationships with the likes of Jennifer Love Hewitt and the fact that he is rich and without children…I find it hard to feel for him.

“I think about my wife all the time,” says Mayer. “I kind of obsess on it, and what I want to find is a person who can speak those kinds of magic words. I mean ‘No complaints’ is a great way to live. Also, I want a woman who doesn’t hear ‘How are you?’ as ‘I would like you to come up with something dramatic now that will allow me to sit in front of you and give you more attention than I would have if you had just said ‘No complaints.’ When I find the person I can relate to on that level and who is also a pinup and who also says ‘Can I please take pictures of your ass?’ then I am going to get married to her. That I can promise you.”

Good luck buddy. When I need a break from reality I will come a visit you and your mythical wife for a nice imaginary roast beef dinner and our figment children can play together.

[Huffington Post]