David Letterman opened his first show in two months by walking out amid dancing girls holding picket signs for striking TV writers.

Of his new beard, Dave said:

“I know what you’re thinking — you think Dave looks like a cattle-drive cook.”

Conan O’Brien debuted his fireface, revealing it was merely an act of solidarity to his writers:

“That’s right, I know this looks fake. It looks like it ties on in the back, but believe it or not I actually grew a beard. Two birds, one stone. I never grew a beard in my entire life. I grew it out of solidarity for my writers, and to prove that I have some testosterone.”

I should have known they’d both do something fun and crazy… it would be expected. I’m glad you’re both back!