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‘Wired Meat Scale Report’

By MrsJ | August 13, 2007

Hello to all, and welcome to the ‘Wired Meat Scale Report‘, coming to you exclusively on Allie is Wired.

So, what exactly is the Meat Scale? The Meat Scale is like any other ranking scale, only less classy. Rather than ranking attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (numbers are so gauche), the Meat Scale ranks on the basis of five meat cuts:

  • offal (dire)
  • hamburger (last ditch option)
  • short ribs (average)
  • t-bone (getting to the hot stuff)
  • rib-eye (Brad Pitt and/or, with his top off, Colin Farrell)

Wired Meat Scale Report

Join me, MrsJ, on a daily challenge to sort the offal from the oh-that’s-fabulous. It’s going to be great.

What better way to kick off the ‘Wired Meat Scale Report‘ than with celebri-spawn, Rumer Willis, pictured here, on the weekend, at Playa y Sol in Malibu.

Rumer Willis

I feel for Rumer. If I know anything about genetics, and I don’t, two hot people should produce hot offspring, right? Wrong. Genetics, I’ve learnt, is just another game of Russian Roulette where, eventually, someone cops the silver bullet. Or, in Rumer’s case, ends up looking like a Japanese Manga character.

But, dare I say it, she’s looking pretty hot here. Having longer hair softens and disguises the worst excesses of the Manga. The frock is floaty, flirty, flattering and showcases a tan that even George Hamilton would covet.

This, in the meat scale world, is what we would call short ribs on the rise.

Source & Story: Wire Image

Topics: Rumer Willis, Wired Fashion, Wired Gossip |


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3 Responses to “‘Wired Meat Scale Report’”

  1. Maximum Big Surprise Says:
    August 13th, 2007 at 8:01 am

    Haha, I love this!

    Agreed, Rumer looks super cute here. But you should see the other pics of this series. She looks seriously fug. Poor girl. But then again, her dad isn’t exactly a hot piece either. Sure, he’s cool and all, but not exactly Brad Pitt material.

  2. Poor Rumer Willis at celebdirtylaundry.com Says:
    August 13th, 2007 at 9:17 am

    [...] sourceĀ  Posted by: Robyn @ 12:17 pm Posted In: Uncategorized | Permalink | TrackBack URI | HOME [...]

  3. mr tabloid » Blog Archive » Poor Rumer Willis Says:
    August 13th, 2007 at 10:10 am

    [...] sourceĀ  Bookmark to: [...]

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